Welcome Home
by magsaure
Summary: Vignettes in Padme's point of view and Anakin's after he dies in Return of the Jedi.
1. Welcome Home

Disclaimer - I don't own any of it - if I did, RotS would have a happy ending.

I came up with this after having a dream in which I was writing a vig about Padme's death that began with the line "She was dead." After a day of musing over that, this is what I came up with.

Oh, and it's un-betaed as well...

He was here.

My Anakin was here, after saving our son from Palpatine and coming back to the light. Luke wasn't the only one to have forgiven him. Everyone I knew and more had gone to welcome him into this new world to thank him for fulfilling the prophecy. I, however, his wife, his beloved Padme, had instead chosen to wait and reminisce about old times as well as ponder what was to come in the next ten minutes or however long it took Anakin to find me.

I had imagined this moment many times in the twenty so years I had been dead and living in this afterlife. At first, I had been angry and bitter about what had happened. I had decided that I would march right up to him, in front of everyone, and tell him exactly how I felt when he had abandoned me and become that armored monster. I felt some sort of sadistic glee in that fantasy, I must admit. I may have been compassionate once, but I wanted to avenge my broken heart on him when he was at his most vulnerable. I wanted to see crystal tears fall from his startlingly blue eyes as I denounced him for what he had become. My favorite part of that was when I turned my back on him and walked out, ignoring his impassioned pleas for my love and promises he would no doubtedly break. Call me cruel, but what would you have done? Embraced him and looked past all of his failures and the crimes he had committed?

But I don't feel that anymore. I haven't wished for that to happen since my - our, actually - children turned six. At that time, my grief overwhelmed the rage that burned inside of me, replacing the hot spikes of anger with cool waves of pain.

What I remember most during that period were my tears that fell down my face, pooled in my gown, and left streaks down my cheeks. I couldn't hate Anakin then, though I'm not sure why. I mourned the loss of our children and our love every night. I often wondered what would have happened had I stayed with Anakin, had he not deserted me, cast me off like a too small tunic. I cursed my stubbornness during that time and wondered why I was so depressed if I was dead.

At this time, my fantasy had changed from me being angry to forgiving him for every depravity whenever I thought of it. If I had been given the opportunity to live again, at his side, I would have done so eagerly. I prayed for that, I recall.

I cringe whenever I remember that time. It is no shame to love the man who broke your heart, but to desire that he be given the chance to do it over and over again is terrible.

After a time, of course, my feelings dulled, and I grew, for the most part, content. I even grew to love my Ani again, not the man he had become, but the man he once was. My longing for him decreased and became bearable as my concern for my children's safety and wellbeing escalated greatly.

I didn't have any dreams of his death during this time, for I was too afraid that I would greet one or both of my children at death's door instead of my Ani, the way it was supposed to be. The way it is now.

Behind me I hear a sudden snap as well-worn boots break a fallen twig and I startle as I quickly turn around to spot the intruder of my garden haven.

Our eyes meet, my mouth drops open in surprise, and my heart drops into my stomach and leaps into my throat at the same time.

He looks exactly the same as when he left me, a lean but muscular, tanned body, golden locks that barely brushed his shoulders, and blue eyes that were as clear and wide as the lakes on Naboo.

"Ani," I whisper as my lower lip quivers.

In all of my imagining, I had never invented a situation such as this one.

"Padme," he murmurs huskily, and I can tell he's about to cry. "Padme."

I want to run to him so badly and at the same time, I don't want to. He thinks I haven't forgiven him, but I know I have from the way my heart beats wildly in my chest and the tear that finds its way down my cheek.

And then it's as if some chime has rung and time has begun again, because I see him walking to me, faster and faster, until he's so close I can reach my arm out and caress his cheek. It's incredibly tempting, as well, so I give in to the urge and trace his handsome features. His beautiful eyes haven't left mine at all during this entire time and now they seem to bore straight through the shell that's hiding my heart from his view.

"Anakin," I run my fingers over his lips and feel a smile start to tug at the corners of my mouth as he kisses them. "My love."

I reach for him and pull him as tightly as I can. I can feel his arms snake around my waist and his chin rest on my hair as I finally let go of my tears. A century later (it seems like forever, though it couldn't have been more than ten seconds) we break apart slightly, and I'm not the least bit surprised to see his face wet. His face comes closer to mine and our lips caress each other, and I wonder for the briefest second why I would have wanted to cause him unimaginable pain.

"Welcome home, Ani," I breathe as we pull apart. "Welcome home."


	2. Thank You

You could have knocked me down with a feather when I died. Not when Luke forgave me - he has so much of his mother in him, so I wasn't surprised about that at all. But when I arrived in the light side of the netherworld instead of the hell I should have been sent to?

Oh, yes, I was astonished. After everything I had done, I had been forgiven, it seemed. Saving my son and destroying the Emperor made up for twenty some years of cruelty and anger. But I wasn't going to question the Force's decision, not this time. If I was supposed to be here, then I would be.

It seemed as if I had woken up from a dream, after I died on the Death Star. The only way I knew that it was not, and that I would not be returning to that terrible suit and mask in a few minutes, was that I could feel my hair blowing across my face. It was something completely alien to me but, at the same time, something so familiar. My next feeling was that of my feet, actual feet and legs.

And then my vision adjusted to darkness. At first, I felt some panic - had the Force changed it's mind, was I to be sent to the hell I deserved? But then, I felt Obi-Wan's calm presence next to mine, and Yoda as well. My breath was taken away as I looked up, for there was Luke, forgiving me for only being his father at the end as well as all of the torture I had put him and his friends through. Then I saw her - Leia, the daughter I should have recognized when I first saw her as a child - coming to stand next to him, then entreating him to join her and the others back at the celebration.

We watched them for a few minutes, though I could have stood there forever, watching my children. But Obi-Wan reached over and tapped me on the shoulder.

"It's time to go, Anakin," my Master said.

I took one look back at them and nodded. Obi-Wan was right. My children had their own lives to lead and my time with them was over, no matter how much I wished otherwise.

The netherworld was beautiful. I had never spent much time thinking about it, but whenever I did, I pictured a place that would feel like home, but better, because I would never have to leave.

Again, I was shocked when we arrived. Everyone I knew - and even more that I didn't - was there. I saw Mom first, or, she ran into me. Literally. 

"I'm so sorry," I whispered as she hugged me, tears falling down my face. "Please, I'm sorry."

She rubbed my back, just like when I was a boy. "It's all right now, Ani. Everything's all right."

Most of the faces are a blur in my mind. Qui-Gon was there, and so were Master Windu, Barriss, and a few others. Someone was missing, someone I desperately needed to see. I kept looking over beings' heads, praying that I would see her, my darling Padme.

Soon everyone had departed, and it was clear that my hopes were in vain when only Mom, Obi-Wan, and Yoda remained with me. I tried to hide my disappointment as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked me, noticing the tears in my eyes.

I turned away as I felt a pain in my heart, which doubled as I realized what Padme must have felt every day since that fateful one when I had turned against her.

"It-it's nothing," I mumbled. "I was... I was just..."

I knew that if Padme had no wish to see me, then I should leave her be. I deserved nothing from her but hatred. Of all the people, I had hurt her the most. 

"She is here, Anakin," Obi-Wan said quietly.

"If she doesn't want me," I said, "then I won't bother her." 

"Anakin-" Mom began, but I interrupted her.

"Why would she?" I tried to laugh, to pass my words off as light, but it was fruitless. Everyone there knew exactly what I was feeling. "After all, I destroyed her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I destroyed her for power. I helped annihlate everything she believed in. Oh, and I almost killed our daughter and tortured our son. No, I can understand perfectly why she would never want to look at me again."

"Anakin."

I looked down at Yoda and noticed that his clawed hand was pointing in the direction of a small garden, almost hidden by a house.

"Go there, you must."

Padme was wearing a blue dress with her long hair down as she tended the Nubian blossoms. I had been gazing at her for several minutes, trying to find my courage to speak with her as she cradled the soft pink petals in her hands.

I stepped forward and accidentally crushed a twig that had been forgotten after the walkway had been swept. She jumped and spun around, and her lovely eyes grew wide. I wasn't surprised to see that she was as beautiful as the day we were married.

"Ani," she whispered.

Our eyes locked then, and I couldn't look away, as much as I wanted to. I was on tenterhooks, my heart beating faster than it ever had in life. 

"Padme," I whispered, memorizing every facet of her, just like I had done when I was nine. Both then and now I had been afraid that I would never see her again. "Padme." 

Her eyes filled with tears, and, though I wanted to go to her and comfort her, I did not, unwilling to disturb her even more. Surprisingly, she walked towards me, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. I waited for the slap that I was sure was going to come. 

Instead of that, however, her hand caressed my face, starting at my temples and then it paused on my cheek. I was speechless at her actions and I hoped she could read the look in my eyes that I was sorry and I still loved her.

Her hands ran over my lips and I kissed them, feeling a tear run down the side of my face as she spoke.

"Ani," she murmured. "My love." 

I felt the pain in my heart disappear and in its place was the most amazing sense of relief. My beautiful angel had seen me in my darkest days and yet she still forgave me.

I held her so tightly. I wasn't afraid to let go of her, but it had been so long since I had been with her that I wanted this moment to last forever. I could feel her tears as my tunic was quickly soaked and I knew that she could feel mine as they coursed down my cheeks and into her hair. 

She pulled away from me, just barely, so I could see her face. I bent my head as she raised up on her toes and we kissed. It was amazing, that feeling of being in love, being loved, and of course, forgiveness. She truly was an angel.

"Welcome home, Ani," she said as we slowly pulled apart. "Welcome home."

I stroked her hair. "Thank you, my love. Thank you so much."


End file.
